More words. I’m good at words. Can I deliver? I don’t know. I hope so, I want to. I have never called a girl a dirty little whore, in writing or in person. This was a first for me. I knew it’s what you wanted, and fuck me I want it too. I want it to be me, and maybe it can be.
I am…passive. This is something I’ve accepted internally, although I fight very hard to give the opposite impression. I don’t like confrontation, despite being pretty good at it. I don’t like hurting people, or letting them down. I struggle to say no to anything, and rarely let my true wants or needs known. Not exactly a natural Dom.
I think if I do it once, if I say it once, if I open the floodgates so to speak, then I could be dominant. I’m sure I would be good at it, I think I have the demeaner down. The look, the facial expressions. Hell the way I like to have vanilla sex is already dominant, the way I like to exert control. I just can’t seem to say out loud the things I’m saying in my head during sex. It’s insecurity, it has to be, but I’m so out of touch with my feelings I don’t feel insecure. I don’t feel…much.
If I can do it with anyone, it will be with you. No one has ever made me feel so secure, so safe to be who I am. Who I want to be. Like I don’t have to be so measured, so controlled, so calculating. Old habits die hard, it’s going to take time and effort to fight my natural inclination towards passivity. As I’ve said, everything I do and say is just instinctive reaction. But I am going to do it. For you, and for me.
For you, with you, to you 
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